women v women

My auntie Florrie having a go at Aunt Joan for not sending My cousin Paul a well done

on your work experience card .

Heres a nice card for my loveley followers happy Christmas kiddos .

snow

Funny how it can be really snowy one place then nothing another . My travelling the country by public transport as a passenger has proved to me that its true .

Will go and get a tree this afternoon - will be the usual story . Me struggling home with one then Ken complaining about its shape .

xxx BN

PS My friend Ian pointed out to me that Chaka Khan is the new face and body of Evans . Something he said he never thought he`d see.
Never say never !

lady gaga and piano -proper show biz

Here come the girls , Lulu Anastasia and Shaka Khan

LAdy Gaga and Queen

more royal variety snaps

cranford

I would like to be in Cranford . How would I go about it ?

Not on the posh side of course the other cottage side

Gaga and bette

I thought these two were smashing on the royal variety performance last night .

Ive never seen lady Gaga before -I was pleasantly surprised . and of course bette is loveley .

Hiya was on the bus today listening to women complaining about Christmas . It`s very hard work for us . I have to have Anadin and Cinzano every year after I have put up the tree.

Its really for kids I dont know when it got so all adults have to have presents as well . We know there`s no Father Christmas -Mother Christmas maybe .

I`ll be glad if I manage to post all my cards this year . I`ve always got about 7 that never get sent .


xxxxxxxxxxxx

Viv and Pamela

I was surprised when I saw VIienne westwood (from sheffield) and Pamela Anderson (From Baywatch ) together giving out an award at the London Comedy Awards . But it turns out they are big pals . Just as well they got on as they didnt half get insulted on stage by one of the award winners (not the category they were given out ) .
The whole night was sponsored by Crabbies ginger beer . And I must say it was very good advertising as they kept pouring ice into glasses and pouring a bottle of crabbies all over it . we must have seen it 20 times as there were so many breaks and by the end I def wanted a crabbies .

The Electric: Programme

The Electric: Programme


HAve sold out one night now the other night is over half sold -its 14th december come if you can -spread the word xx
electric cinema birmingham xxxxx

I dont like this parking scam thats going on everywhere . Poor people parking places that look like you can then coming back and their car has gone and they have to pay 380.00 pounds to get it back . They are cheeky swines who are doing it -greedy no gooders .

Do not park any where with a yellow notice with small letters . They will have you . ! xxxx spread the word -its a war out there and information and knowledge are our armour xxx

Anthony Newley

"What kind of fool am i who never fell in love ..it seems that I`m the only one that I have been thinking of .. " What a great song that is by Anthony newley . I had forgotten about him . I think he was brilliant -a proper star .

RIP Buster

Ah I know PAul O`grady will be missing his loveley dog Buster . I have done panto with Paul and he really loves all animals . Buster was a proper character and gave a lot of people a lot of pleasure - he was TV hit and a loyal companion .

poorly

Hiya for the first time in ages I am poorly . dont think its that swine flu but how would you know ? any way I have been in bed .And I have found something out - I DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING ! I must say I like it . I am going to try and not do a bit more when I am not poorly as well .
All the best to you xx BArbara from Her bed xx

Bonfire night -where are the fires ?

When we were little there were bonfires everywhere . Every one had one -up entries in back yards everywhere . The air would be full of smoke and red flames.

what a shame it doesnt still happen its just like any other night .

shame xx

Shirley Bassey at The Electric proms

Not really sure what a Prom is but Shirley`s was belting . Saw it round at Joyce and Steves -they`ve got one of those red buttons so we watched it twice . What a performer -much better than Robbies Prom . He looked a bit dead behind the eyes but Shirley was all there . I am going to see if I can post one of those you tube things on here so you can see it if you missed it and havnt got a red button .


I couldnt do it . I will try again




No still cant . if you google it you can see it xxx

Transport worries

Hello loves ,

Something I have been meaning to mention for a bit is the price of public conveniences on train and coach stations .
30 p !!!! Unbelievable !!!!- and cruel . You can find a 20p in a hurry -you can find a ten pence but what`s the chances of finding them both in an emergency (which I tend to have ). It`s wrong !!

The other thing is all this booking ahead thats going on for trains and all that . It`s like "a tax on the spontaneous " as my friend Arthur Smith said to me in Wolverhampton.

I don`t want to spend all my time booking pigging tickets (Its like doing the journey twice ) but if you dont you get penalised dont you . It`s wrong

How come its 1.70 to town on the bus (About a mile ) but my friend Margaret went all the way from Southampton to london for 4.00 ?( ( over two hundred miles I should think ) Might not be wrong as such but does seem a bit rum .

Any road up I better go -I need to go to the lav luckily I am not intending toi travel till later on today so i can go in the comfort of my own home -and saving myself 30 p and a desperate routing around at the bottom of my bag so Kerching !!

All the best you loveley eight BArbara xxx

Eight of us

Hiya loyal eight .

Weather has changed hasnt it .

I have already started getting stuff for Christmas .

I hope I am not contributing to global warning by my early actions but I dont want to be in a mad panic in the last week like I usually am . I have got the selection boxes in and some jars of home made piccallilli so I am on my way .

Lets try and enjoy it . There will be a lot of poor mothers worrying about affording stuff for the kids this year with all the unemployment around . A doll and drum and a kick up the bum.... thats what we used to have

(and an tangerine and an apple )xxx

If you are free come to this jig at Birmingham Glee club 16th Nov . Its a very good line up with Zoe Lyons , Chris Neil and other great acts . its part of the SHOUT festival in Brum . a new festival celebrating gay and lesbian art and culture xxxx

Magnificent 7

Hiya and now we are 7 .

What do you think about all these conferences that are going on for the different parties-Labour and that ? I think a few things . Since when did that fellah off radio 4 morning show John thingy decide that who `s going to win the election. (according to him the conservatives have already won -no ones cast a vote yet ! - no wonder so many people don`t bother) And when will they all realise that what we want is not them all falling out and calling each other names and playing dirty tricks - NO ONES GOT ANY MONEY , WE DONT MAKE ANYTHING AND THERE ARE NO JOBS FOR OUR KIDS - why cant they all get together and sort it out . It beats me !!

All the best followers ,
follow
BArbara Nice

I`m burying this in the garden today with a few bits and pieces in . My ancestors can cash in xxx

My five followers

And then there were five !

Hiya loves .

Now this Anglo Saxon gold thats been found..... I wonder if it was up to much when they lost it all those years ago ? I have a shoe box full of bits and pieces of jewellery- a lot of it elizabeth duke . Now we know that thats not as classy as H. Samuels . But in years to come people won`t know that will they ? They could be forgiven for thinking Elizabeth Duke of Argos (It sounds dead posh dont it ! ) was really something .

My hoop earings with the dodgy clasp could end up in a Museum and Art gallerey somewhere !
We could be paying a fortune in reward money for the equivalent of an anglo saxons housewives Grattons catalogue charm bracelet.
Makes you think doesnt it !!!
All the best BArbara xxx

Loveley morning

Hiya , the sun is out and I feel a million dollars. Ive had a good sleep and although I was on a coach from Blackburn for 3 and a half hours last night and didnt get home till 3.30 in the morning - I feel good . Funny isn`t it how some days you can wake up and feel raring to go and others you feel like your dragging yourself around like a bag of muck .

I feel at one with things ... What is this life so full of care we have no time to stop and stare?


My eyes have just noticed how bloody filthy this key pad thing is -there`s crumbs and all sorts down it -I`ll bloody kill our Liam .


Off to get the Cillitt Bang


B

My three followers

Hiya to Stuart my third follower!! ,

Weather has changed hasnt it . I have got a load of washing to do from Edinburgh - nice going away but so much washing when you come back !!
Best get on now -all the very best xxx BArbara Nicxxxx

back from the festival

Hiya had a nice time doing the free fringe . Very hot down the cellar where we were performing but loveley bar staff which is what makes a venue in my opinion .
Went to see a show called trilogy in a church which had all sorts of women and one nice lad taking their clothes off a lot . Was very good -they kept giving you a break - we all went and stood outside . At first I thought it was very dear at 12 pounds but it lasted three hours and I thought that was value for money .

Thanks to all those who came . Loveley to see Ian -the keeper of the website with a Barbara T Shirt on . we should look at maybe making some and getting them to sell on the line . Need these little businesses going on with this recession !!

Love barbara xxxx

A pack of lies

Busy night packing for the festival.. Bit tricky because Ken thinks I am going dog sitting for Paul and Paul in Perth and he has just commented on the amount of animal print tops I am taking with me . I have headed him off at the pass by saying that one of the dogs is a Rhodesian Ridge Back ( they hunt lions ) and I wanted him to feel at home.

Heres one showing his ridge back -poor thing looks painful !

Ian has done another loveley job of the home page thanks love xxxxxxx

Calling occupants of Interplanetary crafts

Two boys have seen a space ship with lemon heads who said "We want you to come with us "

I am glad they didnt go .

Weather is better

I believe the Duchess of York (you know - Fergie ) is in trouble again . she has been making a television programme in Wythenshawe (Manchester -a big estate if you dont know ) supposed to be sorting out where folks are going wrong and helping them And the locals arn`t too pleased about it . I dont blame them . Who does she think she is ? Can we please pack in all this celebrities know best stuff . Mind you I did enjoy celebrity wife swap the other night with Tessa Sanderson and Bobbie Robson . I thought Bobbie Robsons wife Maggie was wonderful . She had on some good stuff . A nice cerise velour track suit and a lime green zip up hooded top . Really amashing . I am going to try and find a picture of her xxx

Ps Just realised when I was searching it was Ron Atkinson Not Bobby Robson . Poor Bobby has just died xx HRT rescue me !

peter and jordan

Whats going on do you think ?

I dont think they have split up at all . Hes got a show coming up on ITV -90 mins ! It must take a while to make 90 mins of a programmen and then theres the scheduling and everything . No I dont belive it . I think its a stunt to get more money how much more do they want ? Them kids need a decent up bringing not private education . I know that the one son has special needs and it is much more expensive but again its not all about money.

Here they are -would you like to see pictures of your parents like this ?

My two followers

Hiya Ian and Deborah,

Hope you are both well . I have a stiff shoulder -you know when you cant stretch out your arm properley ?

I have been carrying a lot of shopping thats probably why . Need to stock up the freezer for Ken as I am off to Edinburgh on Sat .

Will stay with Pat (you know the one who used to work on school dinners with me then won at bingo and is now big in buy to let in Marchmont ) I always do a bit of cleaning for the the people she has staying in her flats over the festival (paying "HOW MUCH!!!!!? " a week as I have said before ) .

Last year but one I was cleaning for Ricky Gervaise , Last year it was Joan Rivers and this year I think it`s Denise Van Outen . I hope she brings her boyfreind Lee with her- I loved him in "Any Dream Will Do "(Andrew LLoyd Webber finds Joseph ) I would like to know if his hair is naturally curly. I will find out -cleaners know everything .

You can learn a lot about someone from the hair product they have in their bathroom .

All the best to you two loyal followers xxxxxx sending you love

Hiya and Higher - If you arevthinking of coming to see it and want to know a bit more

MRS BARBARA NICE HIYA AND HIGHERThe Post-Menopause has never been so infectious!Crack open the latest Take A Break and brace yourself for an uplifting experience with the Stockport born mother of five and lover of a bargain, Mrs Barbara Nice. Having been compared to everyone from Janis Joplin to the Shake 'n' Vac woman, the housewife extraordinaire is returning to The Stand Comedy Club on a mission.Worried by our world of ever-diminishing friendliness, our heads always down for fear of catching someone's eye, Barbara is here to extol the virtues of saying ‘Hiya!'. We need to stand proud, be open and look the world right in the eye- or we won't feel the benefit! After all, if no man is an island, why do we try and hide from our neighbours when we spot them in the Supermarket aisles?Barbara wants us all just to jump in and say 'Hiya'! It's like having a swim- you don't always fancy it, but you always feel better after.With a friendly, inclusive atmosphere, home truths and unique insights into the human condition, Hiya and Higher aims to do for waving and comedy what The Lives of Others has done for surveillance and film. You'll find it impossible not to get swept along by the woman Daniel Kitson dubbed 'the benign dictator'. Barbara is a giddy, joyful celebration, not satire, of suburbia and the everyday. Like going round to your best friend's house for tea, make sure you're 'prepared for the mothering of your life' (Yorkshire Online)Because she has a true lust for life, Barbara will also be stage diving. Hiya and higher!Barbara's alter ego Janice Connolly is familiar to millions as the god-fearing barmaid Holy Mary in Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights and Max and Paddy . She also appeared as Peter's mam in Coronation Street and supported Patrick MacGuiness on his sell-out national tour.In keeping with current concerns, Barbara is ergonomically correct. She doesn't drive and instead traverses the country by National Express coach. Her husband knows nothing of her burgeoning comedy career and assumes she's spending the last week of August dog sitting or at Bingo.Press Quotes'She's back!'Scotsman'A warm and wonderful act, an enthusiastic, livewire force of nature it's hard not too love'Chortle
Copyright © 2007 The Stand Comedy Club
Past reviews ***** Chortle
***** The Independant
**** The Edinburgh Eve News
**** MAnchester Eve News .

Success again

I dont want to seem big headed (Cos no one likes a big head ) but I have been doing good recently . I have just found out I was nominated for an award for best comedy show at The Buxton Fringe . ( Piff the Magic dragon won ).

Swine flu seems to be going down a bit - thats a dispointment for all those who were fancying skiving two weeks off work . Shares in anti bacterial hand wash have gone through the roof- theres always a winner !

Better weather isnt it

love barbara

swine flu

Its really here isnt it .
There was me poo pooing it and its pigging here !
How to keep safe from it
......Keep your vitimin c up thats what I think.
......Simple things like washing your hands with soap and water and not picking your nose !
If you get it dont worry . My friend Noel has it and he said it was lovely -he got to be off work for a fortnight and hespent it all in bed reading and watcjing day time TV . wea rent ill the same as we used to be and I think this is giving us a chance to reap the benfits of being poorly for a bit . I learned to knit when I had chicken pox when i was 6 . Maybe the dying art of knitting will have a resugence because of Swine flu -whio knows . Theres always a silver lining !

tripe

Dance on the square

Had a loveley time compering at a community dance do at Dalston Hackney yesterday. I was standing in for my old friend Ida Barr .

What a belting market they have there for a start off . Fresh fish , nice materials the lot - proper market - I even spotted some tripe (Black and white ) and elder . Loveley !

All day long at the do - organised by the Barbican (not the non alcholic drink people it turned out ) people danced. Everyone was smiling it was loveley all sorts joined in together young and old and they didnt let the rain stop them . when it got too wet the nice barbican staff wiped the dance floor stage down with towels . (I think there was one that Dame Judi Dench had used).

Loveley very uplifting.

There was a lady called Sylvia who juggled for about three hours non stop . she had a smashing suit on -like a adrk duck egg colour and matching ear rings . I liked her style .

All the best Barbara xxx

A dream come true - the energy of the universe .

Very good news for Janice Connolly . Some actresses may dream of playing Lady Mac Beth and going to Elsinore and wringing their hands - for Janice it was playing alongside Norris in the Kabin serving sherbet lemons . And it has happened! shes had the call from the Palace and she`s booked to do 5 epiosde for Coronation Street playing Sheila !!.

Very good .

I was on the bus the other day visualising and I think this is the result . I was taught visualising by paula who works front of house at Stoke on trent theatre the New vic . It works xxx Thanks Paula - thanks Universe xx

Michael Jackson and Shree

What a shame about Micheal .
Every body is going on about how he seemed to want to be white but no one seems to mention that he seemed to want to be a woman . Funny what the press pick up on isnt it .
Just shows you how dangerous these pain killers can be . I am taken the Nurofen out of my handbag .


Watched Big Brother last night . Was very worried about that poor Shree! He was evicted last night and had a very wild look in his eyes .He reminded me of my Auntie Margaret`s Beagle dog Fudge after it had been scared by a donkey on Morecombe beach -it was never the same again . They had to have him put to sleep in the end because he kept biting postmen and weeing in the front room. ( and auntie Margaret was very house proud on account of the fact she couldnt have kids )
In my opinion poor Shree is a bit barking and they shouldn`t have allowed him to go in -it looks to me like its pushed him over the edge . xx Davina should be ashamed of herself .

***** review at Theatre Fest North Devon Fringe

Hiya Just come back from Barnstaple . Got good reviews .. "What is there not to love about this woman " very nice .

Next festival is Buxton then Edinburgh .

Very hot isnt it .

all the best Barbara Nice xx

Audio described Historical Moment

Hiya ,
When Janice Connolly was doing a taste of Honey at The New Vic she made audio describing history by communicating with the screen that shows the words of the play to the audience so that deaf theatre goers can enjoy the play fully.
This is what she did.
Helen the mother (Dora Bryans Part ) says as she looks round the new flat she has found for her and her daughter Jo..
" Whats wrong with this place ? Its got a loveley view of the gas works - we share a bathroom with the community .. and there`s a screen that says everything you say - Oh it didnt say that bit ! "
At which point the screen says

"Oh it didnt say that bit "
and then she said
"Yes it did"
then the screen said
" Yes it did "
And then she said
" Oh leave it "
And the screen said
"Oh leave it "
Then Helen and the screen both went back to the Shelagh Delaney script .

Very good ! -it stopped the show and as I said it made history .
I know this because a man who had seen all the audio described shows since they invented it said he`d never seen that done before .
I thought I would mention it because its not everyday History is made . ( or is it ? )

Love Barbara
Isnt the website smashing -I love me riding on the guitars xxxxxx

A taste of honey going good

Hiya I am liking being in a taste of Honey at the new Vic at newcastle under line .
I get to wear some good frocks and sing and throw aubergines (not sure what else you would do with an aubergine )
Its on till sat 23th then I am at the lyceum in Sheffield on sunday 24th doing a variety show with Ida barr . so all going good .
Whats going on with these mps ?
Conservatives draining moats ?
Lib Dems claiming for trouser pressess and chocolate biscuits ?
Labour with their new bathrooms ?
Everyone is fiddling in their own way - still not as bad as the pigging bankers though lets not forget that !!!

Have got a cold -ken was going on about swine flu . I said "Have a ever been in Mexico? "
That shut him up .

What I`ve got is swining flu xx all the best barbara

A taste Of Honey

Hiya ,
Just been and got Thorntons eggs for our Valeries Kids with their names on ( they are in their 30`s now but I dont like to let them down ) The poor girl with the icing bag was bent over a little table . I said to her "you`ll get a bad back love" and she said "I know "


If you are around The Stoke on trent area after Easter or you fancy a run out I am in "A Taste of Honey " at The New Vic . I am playing The Dora Bryan part -Helen -the mam (Or semi -whore as she is described in the character notes ) Dont know what Ken will make of me playing a semi -whore in Newcastle- Under- lyne . ....


Its a great play with great lines in it and it would be good if people came to support it.


All the best Barbara x


P.S In the play Helen has a bad cold in the first scene - now call me Marlon Brando - but Ive gone and got one! Thats method acting isnt it ?

PPS I met Dora Bryan in Brighton a couple of years agao and she is marvelous . she can still do the splits !!!!


Much Love and Happy easter Bxx

bag replaced

David Lomax-a very good lad indeed. Has been to ashton Market and got me another bag !
This is very good news .

"Alls well that ends well " as my Aunt Florrie used to say when ever she had been constipated and the syrup of figs worked its magic.

Lost

I left my shoe shaped Louis Vutton (4.99 ) in taxi . anyone knowing of how to get another one plaese get in touch .
Thanks Barbara xxx

It makes you think

I was watching Jeremy Kyle at our Valeries gym (I was on a day pass and it was just before Body pump ) There was this women on -hair a mess -gob the size of the Mersey Tunnel - big belly all hanging out yet it turns out she has had loads of affairs (To get it right she has slept with 5 of her her boyfirends friends and kissed 6 of them )
I looked at our Valerie -always on a diet , hair dressers once every 12 weeks, never away from boxercise and I thought whats going on .
I know for a fact because she told me when she was drunk at our Naomis wedding that her and Peter don`t and havnt for years . And theres this women blarting her head off on Jeremy and shes at it all the time .

It makes you think dont it .

The Rhythmn of life

Weather not so good. Siberian they say . Nice to see the bulbs are coming out . Someone on my face has just sent me a loveley you tube video of Sammy Davis Junior singing the rhythmn of live . smashing -he is what you would call cool. So timeless. I could `nt take my eyes of him. Someone should do a show about him because he was one of the Rat pack (with Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra and that ) but because he was black he wasnt allowed in the same places as them and I think a few things kicked off . Not sure what ---would have to go to the library and look it up -or Gargoyle it I suppose ,. If I could I would put the you tube video on here for you to see but I dont know how you do that but if you want to see it I am sure you can Gargoyle it .

xxx BArbara -If truth bre told I think I might fancy Sammy Davis Junior a bit ! I was certainly smiling a lot when I was watching the youtube video !!

gig in Wolverhampton tonight

Hiya tonight I am in Loveley wolverhampton doing a gig for charity to raise money for Burmese comediens who have been put in prison for doing their acts. This is awful! we have got to be able to say what we think and poke fun at them who are supposed to be in charge thats our job! If we dont say nothing they`ll try it on everywhere.
I`ll def be locked up for what I have been saying about Greggs the Bakers.
They are very powerful now since the credit munch -sales of Sausage rolls have gone through the roof -Their shares are worth more than Barclays !!!!
Maybe see you at The Arena Theatre tonight at 7.30 xx Barbara xxx

Hiya and Higher at Alnwick Playhouse

Hiya I am doing my show on wednesday at Alnwick . xxx

The Big Am I Radio 4

Hiya just to let you know Janice Connolly is in THE BIG AM I on radio 4 JAn 31st . Listen to it if you can . It`s written by and starring Justin Moorhouse , also in it is John Thompson ,and Steve Edge .

Had a good talk with a woman on the bus called Linda about the credit munch . she was saying we should all get chickens for the back yard .


xxx BArbara xxx

2009

Hiya not seemed to have time to blog yet this year . been busy sorting stuff out and its been cold so not felt like it . So many shops have gone havnt they ? Kings Heath High Street in Birmingham where our Valerie lives is going like Dodge City. So many empty shops . and all you hear on the news is folk losing their jobs . Dont know how it will end up but we have had it good for a long time and what goes up -must come down . I feel sorry for that Barrack Osama - he seems a really nice fellah but what a mess hes walked into . His poor wife looks knackered already .

Barbara